Pesticola

I am not sure on why all the controversy surrounding the finding that there is unacceptable ammount of Pesticide in Coca Cola and Pepsi.

I being an eternal optimistic always like to look at the bright side of things so I decided to develop develop a list of Advantages:-

- First of all, It is not Cokes or Pepsi's mistake that there is pesticide in the drinks. Those guys donot import water they are using the water we give to them. They just sweeten it for us. Indians are reaping what they sowe.

- One of the side effects of lindane (one of the pesticide found in Coke and Pepsi) is it can reduce the sperm count. Imagine the Positive impact at a time when government is trying hard to reduce the population. I would suggest that Govt. must make it compulsary that every able bodied male should have a coke or pepsi every day. Never Mind that its banned in most of the countries. Na Rahega Baas No Bajega Basuri.

- This is the age of multiple use stuff. We have cellphone which can be used as camera etc. Hey now we have Softdrinks which can feed both human and plants. Zero Wastage. Infact, the softdrink companies should be given "innovation of the year" award.

- Chlorpyrifos(another pesticide found in Coke and Pepsi) is effective in controlling cockroaches, flies, termites, fire ants, and lice. For me, this seems to be the ultimate baygon spray. At Roadside Dhabas, before food, first sprinkle the table with some softdrink it will kill all the flies there. I have even started to bathe my dog with softdrink to kill all the lice on him.

Footnote: Who else will give us a product with so many uses in 5 Rs.?

Proud Mallu

Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don't werk hard?
Kerala.

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn menney.

What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

What is a Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yay.

Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.

Who found out that?
His andy.

What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.

Who is Malayali's fyamous yeactor end yaectress?
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.

Why Kerala is the most highly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.

Why Arab countreis are looking for only Keralites?
They are ready to do yennything for menney.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT : Please don't delete this after reading, at least u should send this mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,

Send this to 100 Malayalis, and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of cokknut oil and bennena chips free.

I feel good

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q:I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q:Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q:How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A:Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy?HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

Is this a consipracy?

Last couple of years were strange times for Hindus in India. We watched with dismay every symbol of our faith being attacked. I guess it started with the Outrageous arrest of Kanchi Seer Sri Jayendra Saraswathi. He was arrested during a midnight commando operation. We were told that haste was because he was planning to escape to Nepal in a helicopter. Personally, I am yet to see a helicopter which can fly from Hyderabad to Nepal. Also, when is the last time a Murder Suspect was arrested in a commando operation? Hope the same overzealous police is aware that there is a warrant against Imam Bukhari of Delhi in the Kerala High Court for the last 15 years, but no policeman had arrested him.

There were series of attacks on revered Hindu temples, RamJanam Bhoomi Temple in Ayodhya, Sankot Mochan temple in Varanasi to name a few.

Then there was the controversy surrounding ice lingam in Amarnath cave shrine. We were told that this year man-made lingam had been installed in the cave since the natural one failed to appear. Strangely, this lingam disappeared prematurely!

Now the evil shadow has been caste on the the Sabarimala Temple one of the most revered temples in South India. It started with a strange controversy in which an actress claimed that she had touched the Idol, an impossible feat considering the Idol is 11 feet inside Garba Griha.

More outrageous was the arrest and sacking of the one of the head priests of the Sabarimala temple. The whole issue started with the Thantri lodging complaint with the Kochi police alleging that he was taken to a house by a group of unidentified people and forced to pose for photographs with women. Police instead of helping him arrested him and he was sacked! The Secular Media Screamed" Sabarimala priest sacked after expose". Now it seems that the Tantri was victimized. The conspirators Shobha John along with her two aides was arrested from Kochi.

One incident can be a aberration, two a coincidence, three has to conspiracy!

Oh my Lord!

It seems offlate lord Aiyyapa is facing lot of problems from his overzealous Devotees. Its only weeks back a lady devotess claimed that she had touched him. A superhuman task considering the idol is placed 11 feets inside the Garba Griha. I tend to believe her as she is from Telugu filmworld, nothing is impossible for them. I have seen films in which they have done more difficult task like making a full dress from half inch towel etc.. Though, I am still trying to figure out how she hoodwinked the police who literally lifts you thru the 18 steps to the temple. How to put it, lets say she is well endowed to have escaped the hands of Police. Anyway, this incident has potential to generate employement for some unemployed. It seems Indian Young Lawyers Association (IYLA) and a group of women lawyers have filed a writ petition in the Supreme Court seeking directions to ensure that women devotees are not prevented from entering the shrine.

Now it seems a more dangerous breed has taken an active interest in the Temple. The breed is called VIP's. Yep the same guys who roam around with a red light on their head and big board on their back. It seems that they would like a special audience with Lord in a special enclosure in front of Sanctum Sanctorum. Afterall after days long work which VIP has patience to stand in queue with good for nothing common mass. Even handicapped or children are not allowed in booth.

Lord your were right in choosing a mountain to rest. Perhaps you should have chosen a taller Mountain. Can we say Mount Everest.