Thursday, April 10, 2008

Year 2010: The Year Every Poor Indian will have a color TV

Its 1st April 2010, this morning Indian Prime Minister proudly announced to the stunned world that every poor Indian Family is now a proud owner of color TV. Reflecting back on old bad times, he said there used to be a time in India when poor used to sleep without without even one Hour of TV a day. Country was going thru turbulent times due to constant protest, people used to protest too much as they had too much of spare time. The family relationships were at the lowest as they were not getting the staple diet of "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi". Crime rate and Inflation Rate were at peak.

And then the Miracle happened. It all started from Assembly Elections in Tamilnadu, the then opposition DMK promised to give every poor "Color TV" if voted to power. The scheme was grand success, DMK was voted to power with a thumping Majority. It was a No Brainer, given a choice between poll promises in Election manifesto and a TV, any poor will choose TV. Understanding the Huge Potential of this scheme, Congress adopted it and used it for the Karnataka polls. In fact, in Karnataka Congress went a step further and decided not to release Election Manifesto and concentrate on TV, I guess the logic was why waste time on something which will not be used anyway.

After Karnataka Elections, it Became a No  Barred Competition. Since then, All the political parties have given up the practice of Election manifesto etc. They vie with each other on who gives the best model of TV during the election, if one givens 29 Inch other would give 42 Inch of course TV..... In 2009 Election, the competition stole the limelight by promising to give HDTV to every poor and to upgrade all the previous Analogue TV's to HDTV's. As expected, they won the Election hands down.

Now we have entered the golden era where every poor own color TV. We have peace in the country, the poor is not protesting even though a 1Kg of Rice costs Rs 100, After the daily diet of Tearjerker Soap Opera's, the poor do not have time(or stomach) for such mundane acts as protesting high inflation rates etc. Under a clandestine operation, the Govt. has managed to convince the TV Producers to design the new soap opera's in such a way that people cannot afford to miss even a single episode. As per the latest Survey Results, Average Daily Talk time in a family has fallen from 30min to 25Min further decreasing Marital Discords and Family feuds which was already at all time low. Crime rates are at all-time low due to new religious fervor sweeping the country due to the the Mahabharata and Ramayana Serials. Now they have modernized versions suited for current trends. In the latest episode of Ramayana, Lord Rama Killed Ravana using a Laser Guided Missile from UAV. As a step towards decreasing population, Government decided to show highly popular serials only during midnight. We are already seeing results of this experiment. However, government is puzzled with sudden drop in Industry productivity, it seems all the employees disappear for a hour or two during day time.

Opposition Miffed by their unexpected election loss has promised that next election they will give all "poor" Indians a Home Theatre. With all the sops being showered on the poor, there is a sudden rush among middle class the declare themselves poor.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Congress Decides to run for China Literally

After soccer star Baichung Bhutia, now Kiran Bedi has decided to pull out of the Olympic torch relay.B_Id_235361

With Key Personalities pulling out of Olympic Torch relay, Congress Party has come out in full force to make the Olympic torch relay a success.

IOA President Suresh Kalmadi, who is in China, said that invitation had been sent to  Jyotiraditya Scindia, Jitin Prasada and Sachin Pilot and he himself would personally call them on his return. However, the star attraction would be the Crown Prince Rahul Gandhi Himself.

And why not, it seems that of late China is mighty pleased with Congress, Queen Sonia  and Crown Prince Rahul Gandhi. Its only recently, A delegation from the Communist Party of China’s international cell visited Congress headquarters to propose a seminar in Beijing at the end of 2008 to commemorate 20 years of Rajiv Gandhi’s visit to China in 1988. The leader of the delegation, Li Jinjun, also formally proposed that Rahul Gandhi to head the Indian delegation. Its only Last year, Sonia Gandhi made a official Visit to china.

It seems for congress old habit (learn during Cacha Nehru's time) dies Hard, Even harder is to Learn Lessons....

Monday, April 07, 2008

Whom are you Smoking Aamir?

After the decline of Indian soccer star Baichung Bhutia to Carry Olypic Torch, the Self Styled Human Rights Activist Aamir Khan is under considerable pressure to skip Olympic torch relay.

Typical Bollywood Style Aamir has given a spin on his decision to carry the Torch notwithstanding the Demands.

According to him,

he will run

“...not in support of China... but with a prayer in my heart for the people of Tibet...”

If you are wondering how he is going to do it. This is the game plan in his own words

“I request those of you who have asked me to stay away from the Olympic Torch Relay to understand that when I do run with the torch on the 17th of April, it is not in support of China. In fact, it will be with a prayer in my heart for the people of Tibet, and indeed for all people across the world who are victims of human rights violations,”

He also had a piece of advice for the Human Right Activists

“In fact, if we were to try and find on this planet a place to hold the Olympic Games where the government of that place has not been responsible for human rights violations (in one way or the other), then I suspect that we would be left with very few options, if any at all,”

Is it only me or is he actually drawing links to you know where.....Anyway Aamir, Wake up and Smell Cofeee, This is not your Movie where everyone will clap for all BS. There is still some intelligence left in India's Common Mass.


Paris Douses Olympic Fire

Paris Tibet

Activists from French media watchdog Reporters Without Borders after the activists unfurled on the Eiffel tower a black flag with the five Olympic rings depicted as handcuffs during the Olympic torch relay. (AP Picture)