India Pak Peas talks....

India Pakistan peas talks

Note: I donot draw(the best i can draw is a straight line) I search for a pic, modify it to convey my feeling.

Joke of the year - Kasab's confession result of diplomatic offensive: Cong

With Ajmal Kasab pleading guilty to his role in the Mumbai terror attacks, Congress is  working overtime to take the credit for the same.

According to congress, the confessions of Ajmal Kasab was a result of the diplomatic offensive as India had taken up the issue at the international fora.

I think congress is starting to feel the heat of PM Mamohan Singh’s Himalayan blunder on Pakistan. But isnt it a bit of overkill to claim that international fora impressed upon Kasab to confess… 

 

 

Looking at Humorous side of 377

One of several other excuses…

A conversation between two convicts serving life sentence….

Reasons why Regional parties are opposing Women Reservation Bill

We interviewed few of political leaders to understand their opposition to Women reservation bill. Following are some of the reasons we could uncover

As Explained by Party Leaders

Difficulty Parliamentary debates

Difficulties during defection negotiation 

Difference of Perception

And also a sinister plan

today laloo revealed to media about this. he said

Women's bill a conspiracy to 'finish' regional parties

After much persuasion Laloo revealed to this team the sinister plan hatched by womens. Its a plan so daring that it would send chill thru the spines of every man. And the Plan is a secret remote control

And them some say its all because

These critics belonging to the caste-based regional parties. they are actually not against the reservations per se, but only against the possibility of upper castes benefiting from the move. In a colourful phrase, while opposing the bill during an earlier session of parliament, JD-U leader Sharad Yadav had sarcastically observed that only 'parkati' (wingless) women or those with bobbed hair will become MPs and MLAs if the legislation comes into force.

UPA Negotiates for New Ministry Formation

Meanwhile….

PM MMS finally comes out with truth

Killing several birds with one shoe

Fancy dress will not win you elections

UPA: A sinking ship?

errr…. please send her a high heel shoes please

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh's wife Gursharan Kaur with US First Lady Michelle Obama

My eagerly awaited next book - Expected to be a best seller

Political Jokes

1. If the opposite of Pro is Con, what is the Opposite of Progress?

2. After Ian Chappel episode Sharad Pawar was hesitant to bring foreign coach for Indian Cricket team. In the end PM had to intervene. Manmohan Singh assured him there is nothing wrong in foreign coach. Look at me how I am working ... I have lso became one of best jugadu ...

And Pawer appoint Karsten

Thanks to buddies in Orkut

Different strokes

Manmohan Singh: We will act against Terrorism

M Mukundan: V S Achuthanandan `outdated saint’

 

Identify who is a farmer?

(A) Someone enjoying his life

(B) Oscar Fernandez

(C) Arjun Singh

(D) Amitabh

(E) All of the above

(F) None of above

The correct answer is E

Amitabh: In 2006 the actor showed the Pune district authorities a certificate from the then Barabanki district magistrate, Ramashankar Sahu, saying Amitabh was a farmer because he owned farmland in the district. Its another matter that the superstar donot have much credentials to speak of as a farmer. Even on screen, he played a farmer only once (Veer-Zaara) in his four-decade-old career.

Arjun Singh & Oscar fernandez: The official bio of Arjun Singh's and Oscar states their profession as Farmer/Agriculturist.

Tailpiece: I am not sure whether the "profession" column in Parliament Biodata covers past professions also? I think we can confirm taht it requires you to indicate your current profession as Sonia Gandhi has indicated her profession to be "Political & Social Worker"

By the way , the Bombay High Court has held that a performer at a hotel who had earlier been a bar dancer can be a 'genuine artist',. Justice A B Chaudhary said.

"Merely because these girls were performing in dance bars earlier, it cannot be readily inferred that they are not genuine artists,"

From a Chinese website

Year 2010: The Year Every Poor Indian will have a color TV

Its 1st April 2010, this morning Indian Prime Minister proudly announced to the stunned world that every poor Indian Family is now a proud owner of color TV. Reflecting back on old bad times, he said there used to be a time in India when poor used to sleep without without even one Hour of TV a day. Country was going thru turbulent times due to constant protest, people used to protest too much as they had too much of spare time. The family relationships were at the lowest as they were not getting the staple diet of "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi". Crime rate and Inflation Rate were at peak.

And then the Miracle happened. It all started from Assembly Elections in Tamilnadu, the then opposition DMK promised to give every poor "Color TV" if voted to power. The scheme was grand success, DMK was voted to power with a thumping Majority. It was a No Brainer, given a choice between poll promises in Election manifesto and a TV, any poor will choose TV. Understanding the Huge Potential of this scheme, Congress adopted it and used it for the Karnataka polls. In fact, in Karnataka Congress went a step further and decided not to release Election Manifesto and concentrate on TV, I guess the logic was why waste time on something which will not be used anyway.

After Karnataka Elections, it Became a No  Barred Competition. Since then, All the political parties have given up the practice of Election manifesto etc. They vie with each other on who gives the best model of TV during the election, if one givens 29 Inch other would give 42 Inch of course TV..... In 2009 Election, the competition stole the limelight by promising to give HDTV to every poor and to upgrade all the previous Analogue TV's to HDTV's. As expected, they won the Election hands down.

Now we have entered the golden era where every poor own color TV. We have peace in the country, the poor is not protesting even though a 1Kg of Rice costs Rs 100, After the daily diet of Tearjerker Soap Opera's, the poor do not have time(or stomach) for such mundane acts as protesting high inflation rates etc. Under a clandestine operation, the Govt. has managed to convince the TV Producers to design the new soap opera's in such a way that people cannot afford to miss even a single episode. As per the latest Survey Results, Average Daily Talk time in a family has fallen from 30min to 25Min further decreasing Marital Discords and Family feuds which was already at all time low. Crime rates are at all-time low due to new religious fervor sweeping the country due to the the Mahabharata and Ramayana Serials. Now they have modernized versions suited for current trends. In the latest episode of Ramayana, Lord Rama Killed Ravana using a Laser Guided Missile from UAV. As a step towards decreasing population, Government decided to show highly popular serials only during midnight. We are already seeing results of this experiment. However, government is puzzled with sudden drop in Industry productivity, it seems all the employees disappear for a hour or two during day time.

Opposition Miffed by their unexpected election loss has promised that next election they will give all "poor" Indians a Home Theatre. With all the sops being showered on the poor, there is a sudden rush among middle class the declare themselves poor.

Say No More "Even A policeman can do it"

If you are used to saying the phrase  "this is so simple that even a Policeman can do it", Its time you change it, especially in Kerala. Perhaps, a new phrase "this is so simple that even a politician can do it" will have an universal appeal,  even in Kerala.

As a sign of changing times (or shall we say increasing unemployment), The fresh batch of 240 sub-inspectors of Kerala Police getting ready for their passing out parade has  four MBAs, four MCAs, two M. Phil, Three B. Tech, Six Double Masters Degree and 75 post-graduates.  but if you are expecting a more "suave" behavior from Police, Don't get your hopes high as there are several studies which show that there is no direct correlation between "Degree you Hold and Intelligence you have". Replying to a question in the assembly, Kerala’s home minister Kodiyeri Balakrishnan said that there are 607 criminals in Kerala Police. They are accused of crimes ranging from rape to murder. 

Understandably, State IPS officers are worried over the surge of professionals in the lower ranks. There are only six PhD holders among the state’s IPS officers. Yet, at least a dozen sub-inspectors are doctorates. So much so that they even Increased the basic height qualification from 165 to be 168 cms to prevent this Mad rush from "overqualified" Applicants.

There are rumors that even our Eight Failed Chief Minister VS is also a bit worried at the prospect of commanding a Police Force of Ph. D's. 

With so many MCA's working as SI's and our Eight Fail Chief Minister as IT Minister,  how can Kerala Police not have a Website for themselves. All excited by the prospect of communicating with Police thru the anonymity of Internet and never having to set my foot in a Police Station, I started searching for Kerala Police Websites. Since I hail from Trissur, I decided to start from there. A simple Google Search and God Behold... They had a Website..   http://thrissurpolice.com/. A nice website and what more can we ask they even had a button giving police tips to naive public. For the benefit of illiterate they even depicted it  pictorially.  The first tip it gave was how to react when someone grabs your ass. Second Tip Educates the ladies that they should "Whistle" when in trouble. I guess the idea is by whistling Loud she will attract more "Poovalans" thus creating a competition/conflic between Poovalans and she can scoot during the confusion. 

Second Hit was the State Police HQ website itself. Do you see an uncanny resemblance between Between Kerala Police Website and this website? Even though there might be other resemblances, for now lets keep our observation focused on the falling flakes.

With such a splendid setup, we hope KP Continues to Police us and save us